-ChIcLiCiOuS-

- Courage -

*this post is dedicated to SW*

Mendengarkan keluh kesah seorang teman - dari mulai gue mo berangkat ke kantor, sepanjang perjalanan gue ke kantor, sampe akhirnya gue tiba di kantor – mengenai apa yang terjadi dalam kehidupannya lately, yang membuat dia takut untuk melangkah maju karena merasa tidak cukup “punya senjata” buat menang, gue jadi inget cerita dalam buku “To Kill a Mockingbird” nya Harper Lee. Ada satu quote yang sampe sekarang masih gue lekat di otak gue, ketika Atticus menggunakan Mrs. Dubose sebagai contoh nyata untuk menunjukan kepada Jem bahwa “courage isn’t a man with a gun, but someone who fight for what’s right whether he or she wins or not”.

Inget quote itu, gue jadi inget quote sebelumnya dibuku itu juga, dimana ketika Mrs. Dubose sudah meninggal dan Atticus mencoba menerangkan ke Jem bahwa Mrs, Dubose itu pernah menjadi pencandu morfin, tapi dia berjuang melawan kecanduan itu sebelum dia meninggal dan dia berhasil, meskipun dia hanya punya beberapa bulan untuk tetap hidup. Bagian yang gue suka banget dari chapter ini adalah ketika Jem mampu buat ngeliat what real courage was -- "It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do.” And Mrs. Dubose wins!!!

Yup! Bagian itu yang bikin gue - beberapa tahun yang lalu - mampu to stand up, head up, have a brave to face the world again. Biar pun gue tau resiko nya gue bakal jatuh lagi, sakit lagi, tapi yang paling penting adalah gue berani memulai (meski gue tau gue akan kalah sebelum memulai) dan nyelesaiin apa yang udah gue mulai itu. Kayak Mrs. Dubose.

Dan pengalaman itu yang tadi gue share ke temen gue.
Dan sesi curhat colongan tadi pagi, bikin gue berkaca sama diri gue sekarang, ketika gue butuh keberanian to fight this horrible feeling to face something (that-I-even-not-dare-to-say), kenapa gue sampe melupakan Mrs. Dubose’s courage ya? Kenapa juga harus takut?

*btw, itu buku ada dimana ya… jadi pengen baca lagi..*

Dude, if you happen to read this post… you should know that life is full of choices. Dan satu pilihan yang kita pilih akan membawa kita ke pilihan-pilihan berikutnya. Kalo kata si Iriel,… “…one thing lead to another…”, and what we really need is just a courage to fight in that battle, whether we will win or not.

And I hope.. I (and you too) win this battle.

An Inconvenient Truth

Yes, I saw the movie. Did I like it? Yes… I liked it. Did I love it? Not so much. I think it’s because for me, Gore was preaching to the converted. A lot of it I had heard and seen before. The evidence isn't new for those of us already in the thick of it. I'm a lawyer, not an atmospheric scientist. I'm just interested in science and lends to scientific study. The movie was powerful because it SHOWED people what is happening while keeping the actual science jargon to a minimum. I think that aspect of it was amazing. What I felt the movie lacked was direction. Okay Gore…yeah…there's all these problems; now suggest to me what the hell I'm supposed to do. Turning off a few lights is not the answer. When the movie finished I found myself kinda feeling like, "hmmm… interesting and amazing… so what are some 'action items' I can take away from that film". The movie could have provided a platform for change rather than a mechanism of promoting fear (but …on a positive note… awareness is there).

I'm happy I saw it and I do think it is something that everyone should see. It does make you think. But how many people have already watched this movie…and two weeks later have forgotten about it? Action and long-term messaging… it was missing it, who’s going to pick up the slack?

PS : I still looking for these Al Gore's book. Can anyone help me find those book here???

If I had One More Day

“If you had the chance, just one chance, to go back and fix what you did wrong in life, would you take it? And if you did, would you be big enough to stand it?”

Those words I’ve got from the back cover of MITCH ALBOM’s new book FOR ONE MORE DAY. For One More Day is the story of a man who attempts suicide, but does not succeed. No matter what he does, he survives the attempt. Charley "Chick" Bennetto was once a major league baseball player, and even made it to the World Series. But life for him has gone downhill since then. His story is told in flashbacks, showing his relationship with his parents, in particular his mother. His mother's death made a big impact on him, leading him to attempt suicide, and the reason behind this is revealed slowly through the telling of their relationship. He was told that you can only be one thing - a momma's boy or a daddy's boy, but you can't be both. So he chose to be a daddy's boy, nearly shunning his mother throughout his life, treating her with less respect that he should have otherwise. He adored his father, a man that was distant and treated his mother at times with cruelty. And suddenly one day, his father is out of their lives, with no explanations. Chick's life is told in short chapters, mostly titled "times my mother stood up for me", and "times I did not stand up for my mother". This story will ring true for many, as I think what happens when one is growing up is that the mother is the one that ends up the disciplinarian, and often times (especially in divorced families) she's the one that takes up the slack, she's doing it all. Chick never appreciated his mother, nor was he ever there for her. Finally, on that last day of her life, he disappoints her yet again. It's a day he wishes he can take back and do over again. The miracle of Chick's life is that when he ends up in a near fatal car accident, he doesn't die but instead walks away and meets his mother again who has been dead for years, as if it's just another day. It is the experiences of this day that turns Chick's life around, as the reader will discover. What follows is the one "ordinary" day so many of us yearn for, a chance to make good with a lost parent, to explain the family secrets, and to seek forgiveness. Somewhere between this life and the next, Chick learns the astonishing things he never knew about his mother and her sacrifices. And he tries, with her tender guidance, to put the crumbled pieces of his life back together.

I won't say more as I don't want to reveal the ending, but FOR ONE MORE DAY wasn't my favorite book by this author. I don't think the story is as "wonderful" as the previous THE FIVE PEOPLE YOU MEET IN HEAVEN, or the great TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE. Expected more emotion, especially since so many people experience the regret of not having one more day. *grin* But, no matter what he writes, ALBOM seems to always find a way to hit you in the heart in that very last chapter.

Anyhow, the lesson learned here are VALUABLE. Who would not ask for one more day--to understand, forgive, and make right what time and life has unraveled? I closed the book and did some thinking. The loss of a loved one is always difficult, but if you were able to have one more day with that person, what do you think they would show you? It is true, that old cliché, that misery loves company - and I, in a particularly miserable mood, was immediately pleased with the company of the book's Chick. I was grateful his character seemed "worse" than me. I was, happy is the wrong word - but something like it, for the illustration the character brought to life: the bottom is still somewhere further down below. I was grateful for the literary metaphor of jumping off a bridge (water tower in the book) - and reading this book bought me a day or two of not feeling like doing it myself. I could relate to letting your world go to hell when your parent dies. I could relate to choosing, mommy or daddy's girl? and, as Chick's dad tells him in the book, knowing you can't ever be both. And wondering, which one, really, am I? and why? and if my allegiance has changed over time, when? and again, why? why? why? I liked the idea that when people think of you, they bring you close to them, as happened in chick's journey through his mom's day. I liked how Albom let Chick's mom explain how, when people remember you, they feel you alive in their world. I’ve had this happen recently with a number of old lovers and friends, and it is confusing, complicated, difficult and wonderful when they show up in this time of profound sadness juxtaposed with the perfect life/love/family I have made. This book, with its explanation of how Chick's mom shows up in the lives of people who remember her as their time to cross over draws near, this is a lovely idea that somehow transmits the message, "ease up. It’s all good".

All in all, this is a lovely easy read. I like how Albom makes death more palatable. I like how he creates metaphors I can look forward to living into. I like the simple truth he weaves through his work: love matters most, family matters more than that, god knows what you're up to and sends you help in the form of memories, angels, strangers and "accidents" - and if you get a close enough look at all of them, finally seeing them from their right angles, there is design and purpose and real, enduring, powerful, true love throughout it all - waiting for us to recognize it for what it is. Waiting for us to get out of our well of uniquely human despair, look up, and say thank you. Waiting for us to show up. Heaven is all around, just waiting for us to recognize we're already there.

and so it is.
and so it has been.
and so it continues.
and having read this lovely little book, my pain is somewhat eased, and I am made better, through the aid of it's comfort and accompaniment.

HOW TO CLIMB MOUNTAINS

Choose the mountain you want to climb
Don’t be influenced by what other people say: ‘that one’s prettier’ or ‘that one looks easier. You are going to put a lot of energy and enthusiasm into achieving your objective, and you are the only one person responsible for your choice, so be quite sure about what you are doing.

Find out how to reach the mountain
Often you can see the mountain in the distance – beautiful, interesting, full of challenges. However, when you try to reach it, what happen? It’s surrounded by the roads; and what seems clear on the map is far more complicated in reality. So you must try all the paths and tracks until, one day, you find yourself before the peak you intend to climb.

Learn from someone who has been there before
However unique you may think you are, there is always someone who has had the same dream before, and who will have left signs behind that will make the climb less arduous: the best place to attach a rope, trodden paths, branches broken off to make it easier to pass. It is your climb and it is your responsibility too, but never forgets that other people’s experiences are always helpful.

Dangers, seen from close to, are controllable
When you start to climb the mountain of your dreams, pay attention to what is around you. There are, of course, precipices. There are almost imperceptible cracks. There are stones polished so smooth by rain and wind that they have become as slippery as ice. But if you know where you are putting your foot, you will see any traps and be able to avoid them.

The landscape changes, so make the most of it
You must, naturally, always keep in mind your objective – reaching the top. However, as your climb, the view changes, and there is nothing wrong with stopping now and then enjoy the vista. With each meter you climb, you can see a little further, so take time to discover things you have never noticed before.

Respect your body
You will only manage to climb a mountain if you give your body the care it deserves. You have all the time that life gives you so do not demand too much from your body. If you walk too quickly, you will grow tired and give up halfway. If you walk too slowly, night might fall and you will get lost. Enjoy the landscape, drink the cool spring water, and eat the fruit that Nature so generously offers you, but keep walking.

Respect your soul
Don’t keep repeating, ‘I’m going to do it.’ Your soul knows this already. What it needs to do is to use this long walk in order to grow, to reach out as far as the horizon, to touch the sky. Obsession will not help you in search for your goal, and will end up spoiling the pleasure of the climb. On the other hand, don’t keep repeating ‘It’s harder than I thought,’ because that will sap your inner strength.

Be prepared to go the extra mile
The distance to the top of the mountain is always greater than you think. There is bound to come a moment when what seemed close is still very far away. But since you are prepared to go still further, this should not be a problem.

Be joyful when you reach the top
Cry, clap your hands, shout out loud that you made it; let the wind (because it is always windy up there) purify your mind, cool your hot, weary feet, open your eyes, blow the dust out of your heart. What was once only dream, a distant vision, is now part of your life. You made it, and that is good.

Make a promise
Now that you have discovered a strength you did not even know you had, tell yourself that you will use it for the rest of your days; promise yourself, too, to discover another mountain and set off on a new adventure.

Tell your story
Yes, tell your story. Be an example to others. Tell everyone that it’s possible, and then others will find the courage to climb their own mountains.

(Taken from “Like The Flowing River” – Paulo Coelho)

I’m in quarter climb one of my mountain.
Wish me luck guys… *grin*

EVERY LIFE HAS A PURPOSE

Gara-gara hari minggu kemaren ditantangin nonton film “Lady in The Water” ma si Della, gue jadi dapet kata-kata yang gue pake buat judul di atas. Film yang akhirnya bikin gue merasa tertipu ma thriller (and ga bakal percaya lagi ma yang namanya thriller!!!) huahahahaha.. gue pikir film horor!!! Coba kalo yang buat bukan si M. Night Shyamalan, gue ogah kali nontonnya (karena gue emang ogah banget nonton film horor… huhuhuhu). Berhubung gue udah jadi salah satu pengemar Shyamalan sejak Sixth Sense-nya yang cool banget itu, ya gue terima deh tantangan si Della buat nonton. Hehehehehe…

Anyway, gue bukan mau ngomongin tuch film sekarang (tapi gue recommend kalian semua buat nonton film itu… :-p). Yang gue mau share sekarang adalah soal judul yang gue posting di atas. Kata-kata yang gue dapet dari dialog nya the narf named “Story” dengan Mr. Cleveland Heep, waktu Mr. Heep lagi rembukan ma temen-temennya di apartemen soal rencana untuk nolong Story. Waktu mereka lagi bingung nyari siapa di antara mereka yang adalah “The Interpreter”, which is orang yang bisa baca tanda-tanda alam dan mencari petunjuk dari hal tersebut, si Story tiba-tiba bilang “Every life has a purpose, you just have to listen to your voice within”.

That words like stuck in my head since then. That’s the reason I write this blog. Soalnya gue jadi inget sama salah satu buku favorit gue “The Alchemist” nya Paulo Coelho, yang udah berhasil menghancurleburkan keegosian gue dan membuat gue mengubah semua cara pandang gue soal menyikapi hidup gue.  That book also emboldening me to stay true to my dreams and always to listen to the voice within my heart, karena itu lah suara yang paling jujur.

"My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer," the boy confides to the alchemist one night as they look up at a moonless night.

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself," the alchemist replies. "And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity." (The Alchemist)

Teori emang paling gampang ya… Prakteknya… susah soooob…

Berusaha yakin ma suara hati itu susah banget, lebih gampang denial and hope everything will be ok. Padahal, kalo denial, batin jadi tersiksa, and semuanya jadi salah. Kalo dipikir-pikir apa sih susahnya denger kata hati. Tapi ya itu tadi, kayak kata si Santiago di The Alchemist, apa yang suara kan oleh kata hati itu kadang-kadang bukan apa yang kita mau. Apa yang kita mau itu ada dipikiran kita, bukan di hati. Makanya suara hati suka kalah ma ambisi… hehehehe

Katanya suara hati itu yang nolong kita dalam perjalanan hidup mencapai tujuan. Tiap hidup kan pasti punya tujuan, kalo ngga ngapain juga kita hidup. Masalahnya adalah gimana cara mencapai tujuan itu tadi. But again, every life has a purpose... so that’s why life is in the journey, not the destination. Seperti juga perjalanan Santiago nyari “pot of gold” nya atau perjalanan Story untuk pulang lagi ke “blue world”, what you search for is usually RIGHT THERE all along, and that the journey you take to find it is about learning lessons and growing as a person. Coelho and Shyamalan speaks of how doing good deeds for others is eventually rewarded and though we don't know what our treasure will be, or where and how we will receive it, if we follow our heart, we will find it.

Lagi belajar dengerin suara hati nih buat ngambil keputusan. Kayak di salah satu blog yang pernah gue tulis, life is so simple… So, life does not need to be complicated, like Santiago set off to find his "pot of gold," and after a long journey during which he grew mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, he finally discovers the location of the treasure. He follows the directions and find it RIGHT WHERE HE STARTED! The point is, You have what you need inside of you all of the time. You don't need to search outside yourself- you need to look within.

Bisa ga ya jadi kayak Santiago… biar ga stuck in reverse lagi neh... :-)

"Because, wherever your heart is, that is where you'll find your treasure." (The Alchemist) 

A Contract With God

Written & drawn by the late Will Eisner.

A Contract With God is a book that I admittedly would buy if there's no other graphic novel in the  book store. The characters are roughly sketched. It's printed in sepia which I find plain (the introduction, however, explains the purpose of such a colour--it's a colour of dreams or memories). In addition, there are too many words to my liking. Granted it's a graphic novel where stories are supposed to play more significant role. Still I'd have expected more drawings than words. But, I bought the book - in the end - at one of the book store in Kemang. Always keep an open mind, right? No other graphic novel to be picked, anyway. First of all, just because I was really curious about the title “A Contract With God”. Read it yesterday & no regret.

There are four stories in the novel. A Contract With God is one of them. The most memorable one as it deals with a humane expectation concerning religions. Or God. Do good & you'll be rewarded. Do bad? Be punished. The foundation of all religions.

The story features one old Jewish man who since he's young has done good things to others & in return, blessed by good things. He's sent to America with the money donated by people of his village (one of the blessing as he has a chance to survive as the village is under constant attack during a war. He writes that contract with God on a stone on his journey). He adopts a baby girl abandoned in front of his doorstep (another blessing as he now has a family). But later on, the girl, who has been growing up as a loving daughter, suddenly dies. The father angrily accuses God of not respecting the contract. He throws away the stone. And he decides to stop honoring the contract.

He uses the bonds entrusted to him as a collateral to buy an apartment building. He raises the rental fee. Mercilessly. He's rich within 1 year. He acquires more buildings & as the story suggests, Luck has been kind to him. His return of investment is impressive. His timing? Superb. He becomes very rich. Has a mistress. Luxury. Everything!

Yet he feels empty. And one day, he returns the bonds (once used as a collateral for his first purchase of property) to the rightful owners: the synagogue leaders. The bonds plus the interest. What he asks is the leaders to draft a new contract between him & God. The leaders eventually agrees. Not without a lengthy discussion among them. But yes, a new contract is meticulously drafted.

The old Jewish man is glad as he feels he has made peace with his God. He has accepted the possibility that the breach of the first contract (the one in the stone) is due to him writing it as a kid and thus, the contract is not properly written. He wants to do good things in life. He wants to be back to how he is before. Doing good things & be happy. As simple as that.

Guess what happens next? When he's still joyful reading the contract--all smiles, knowing God will honour this new contract, a heart attack hits him. He dies.

Life and its unique sense of humour. Huh?

Can you find the moral story guys…

Anyway… That story was really hit me in the first place…